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Wednesday, July 18th, 2012 01:00 am

Mirrored from The blog-hub for Peter "Sci" Turpin.

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Tuesday, July 17th, 2012 01:00 am

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Monday, July 16th, 2012 01:00 am

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Sunday, July 15th, 2012 01:00 am

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Saturday, July 14th, 2012 01:00 am

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Friday, July 13th, 2012 01:00 am

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Thursday, July 12th, 2012 01:00 am

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Wednesday, July 11th, 2012 02:41 am

 

Above is a picture I drew a few years back to illustrate the concept of “Kit Lines” (*); the conceptual layers of equipment a prepared person might arrange for themselves (**).

 

Over time, I’ve come to realise that kit/equipment is just a facet of a wider range of things this conceptually covers. Calling them kit-lines reinforces the image of it being about what tools you can equip yourself with. What it is actually about is what resources are available to you, categorised by their inherent seperation from you. They are resource-lines, the concept of the supply and support line combined and re-compartmentalised.

Reinterpretting the original definitons for this idea, you get:

Line 1; “Worn” – Those resources which you have with you at all times. Your clothing, accessories.

Line 2; “Carried” – Those items you might pick up if leaving the house briefly. Keyring, wallet, mobile phone.. anything you might have ready access to.

Line 3; “Packed” – Packed gets into the resources requiring an extra layer of storage, a bag of some sort, for you to take it with you. Most survival-kits, camping gear, anything in your vehicle.

Line 4; “Embedded” – Items that require a non-trivial amount of effort to relocate. Difficult to take them with you. Your furniture, PC, bed, most household possesions, workshop contents, food garden, etc.

Line 5; “Residential” – Your home itself, the roads and services that supply your area. These items are essentially imobile. You have to be in the same place as them to access them. Can also include friends and aquaintences, as they’re also location-specific, even if only in conceptual communication-spaces.

Line 6; “Communal” – Essentially omnipresent resources, available in almost all locations. Bit harder to define, but could include the Internet, generic medicines, air, the economy, national government, public transport systems and so on.

 

These lines act not as a list of essentials, but a way to conceptualise the resources available to you as well as their possible vulnerabilities. You may have a lot of resources at Line 4, but if you loose line 5 you may loose it all with it.

Again, there are dependancies between the various lines, not all of them standard. 5 may effect 4, but 3 may not effect 2. It all depends on the specifics of your own resource arrangements. Loss of medicines on Line 6 might not cause a big problem for some, but loss of national government might take out Line 5 entirely.

It’s a convenient mental tool for visualising your personal resilience. YMMV.

 

The unstated item in this list though is the conceptual “Resource Line Zero”. That is YOU. You exist at the center of the diagram, and even when all the other layers of resources are peeled away, there’s still you. Line Zero is your inherent skills, your health and fittness, etc. Line Zero is what you would have if dumped naked on a desert island. All others are external constructions.

 

 

(*) The “Kit” concept was originally put to me through Sean Kennedy’s work on Rant Radio, and had a rather survivalist bent. It also reinforced many peoples bad habit of buying equipment and being reassured by having it, rather than learning how to use it. It became another game of bigger and better ownership.

(**) The website I drew it for was Empowerthyself.com, which while still up is essentially lifeless. It was a good concept, but killed by over-engineering. There was simply too great a bulk of website created for a small userbase to maintain, and as a result the users there felt inaffective and dwindled away. A handful of people stumbling around inside a gargantuan mansion, unable to find anything.

Mirrored from The blog-hub for Peter "Sci" Turpin.

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Wednesday, July 11th, 2012 01:00 am

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Tuesday, July 10th, 2012 01:00 am

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Monday, July 9th, 2012 01:00 am

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Sunday, July 8th, 2012 01:00 am

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Saturday, July 7th, 2012 01:00 am

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Friday, July 6th, 2012 01:00 am

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Thursday, July 5th, 2012 01:00 am

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Wednesday, July 4th, 2012 09:10 pm

I’m currently on something of a mood upswing right now. I’m hardly back to peak though and I think this most recent extreme of low has left a mark. Something’s changed. I don’t want to talk about that though.

My happiness has been eroding away, and a large portion of it is my own fault. I have many friends, but none of them close. I flit between people, forming bonds of association and trying to help whenever someone has a problem. That in itself is the problem for me. I’ve spread myself too thin, been too open to sacrifice my own mental wellbeing, attention, time and even resources to try and help many people in basically trivial ways. Because I’ve wanted to feel I was helping people.

The things I’ve done for people aren’t really anything of signifigant or lasting value; just brief pick-me-ups for them. But collectively they’ve taxed me beyond my limits. I empathise with each situation I get involved in, and it weighs on me. Every time someone rants and raves and gets something off their chest at me, it’s in my heart at that face value, and I can’t take that.

I know people aren’t that open normally. Maybe most people don’t have those childhood hangovers where somewhere subconciously you just want people to like you. And I guess it’s worked that far. I have a lot of people who are basically amiable to me, but few if any I can count on to allways be there.

I’ve reached out to people I’ve helped before, and some of them have listened but nothing ever comes of it. I need support, not just someone to vent to, which is where this imbalance has stemmed from. I throw a lot at people when I’m able, even if it’s just mentally; spending a few hours researching something or digging out the best info on a subject for them. The ear I get in return isn’t enough though. I need assistance, and while the it’s a nice gesture for people to listen it now makes me sick.

Every time someone asks “What’s wrong?” I have to repeat the whole situation, all my fear, ebarassment, anger and desperation. And in doing so I remind myself of how tenuous that connection with them is, because I’ve said it all in bits publically but they haven’t acknowledged. “Hi, well here’s the bloody recap of everything you’ve not been noticing for the last year or so..”

And that reminds me, reinforces how stuck I am in this situation that’s causing the initial pain.

And it makes it worse, reminding me how desperate I must be for help to be reciting all that personal mental sputem to someone who by asking may as well have marked themselves a stranger to me.

 

It seems the only conversations I have now are hollow, forced and joyless. (That or with people who only contact me when they want to buy something. Not that I should complain, but..) Desperatly clawing for something to talk about just so I’m talking. Conversations online. Phonecalls cost too much, since everyone has mobiles. Everyone’s busy on Skype or imbued with emotions I can’t cope with.

In person it’s so much easier to talk, but getting to where you can talk to people you have something in common with is too costly on my meager finances.

 

My social network is horrifically unbalanced with so many ghosts, to the point I might almost be better trying to form bonds totally fresh with people I don’t yet know. But I’m not the sort of person now who is going to be pleasent enough to make deep connections to people. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Thought into a corner like every other issue right now. Another person clawing for something or someone to hold onto and finding nothing while the world circles the drain. No one will have the time to deal with someone like that when they are unable to cope themselves.

Now back to trying to get something done. But distracting myself feels so much better, even if doing so is just making things worse.

Mirrored from The blog-hub for Peter "Sci" Turpin.

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Wednesday, July 4th, 2012 01:00 am

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Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012 01:00 am

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Monday, July 2nd, 2012 11:55 pm

Took delivery of extra wood needed to complete fence.

Made dental appointment for tomorrow. Checkup, though chipped a tooth yesterday and another hurts.

Leather-glue arrived and repaired damage to leather jacket.

Played minecraft a bit.

Took Kizzy to the vet for her booster.

Signed docs for mum to sign “my” scooter over to me legally.

Opened up big lens more, found possible focus adaptor.

Wombled some planters.

 

Stomach’s burning.

Mirrored from The blog-hub for Peter "Sci" Turpin.

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Monday, July 2nd, 2012 01:00 am

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